Insomnia posting

It is probably a bad idea to write a post when I'm this sleep deprived but I find my self wondering if any woman on the face of the earth ever really gets along with their SO's parent(s)?

My future MIL has her moments of awesome-- but then she opens her mouth about something and ruins it.

I can feel her waiting to say something about my cycling ride in June. Every time I bring it up she gets rather quiet, which is unlike her. If there is a topic she always has something to say about it. I'm not the fittest person in the house, but crap at least I'm getting off my rear end and doing something about it. I want to continue my recent weightloss, I want to continue my recent streak of low glucose numbers without the use of medications, I want to show the world that I'm more than a fat girl who is sick all the time.

The trucker that wasn't.

So it would seem that he has given up on this. I feel partially-- ok mostly responsible for this fact. If I weren't here, if I were still with my parents down in NYC he would have stuck with it. I dislike feeling like this. I want him to get back out on the road. One bad trainer does not the lot make.

I just wish he wouldn't get so foggy and distant when I try to talk to him about it.

ramblings

Do you ever wonder if the road you're on is the one you're meant for? Ever think maybe you missed a turn, or sped up when you should have slowed down (or vice versa).

Sometimes I find myself wondering if we're on the same highway, let alone even at the same exit in life. I don't like feeling like this and I'm tired of apologizing to the people around me who are moving at a different speed. Wanting something with all my heart and soul shouldn't turn into a fight, and it shouldn't be a topic that is shoved under the rug either. I'm sick of changing my opinion on things just because of the ideas of other people.

Needle isn't moving

It's an adage my district manager at work seems to be really fond of, "keep the needle moving" he says it probably three to four times a day. Some of you may notice that not only has my needle not been moving but my posting hasn't been as regular.

Truth be told right now I don't need it. Saturday my love surprised me by coming home. It's temporary while the company fits him in with another trainer. It's so wonderful to hold him again. It also sucks that he isn't making a paycheck this week. I'm terrified of the tuition coming back to choke us. I'm worried that the new guy at work will do better than I do, and I'll get weened off the schedule.

Got to push the bad thoughts aside and think positive though.

lemons

 

Seriously, when life gives you lemons you tell life to suck it. I'm glad that is what is going on now. Little changes to effect the big picture. Making things better one step at a time.